NEW GULL PROFILE

Matty Hayward – @MattyHayward96

I’m sure it comes round faster every year. Children line up, anxiety and anticipation bubble over as they bundle down the stairs to see what Father Johnson has left under the dugout. Last time he brought an assortment of terrible, unfit wingers, which disappointed the youngsters beyond belief. He sweetened that pill significantly with a locally-sourced left-wing-back, and a couple of London-made bundles of potential, who warmed the cockles in the winter months.

I am, of course, talking about the Season of Injury-Crisis-Forcing-Us-To-Sign-Unknown-Children-On-Loan. It’s here again, and Santa Recall-Clause has stocked the bench with a pair of gifts, about whom there is so little online information that I’ve been forced to resort to unintelligible metaphor to pad this article out.

What I’m trying to say I we’ve signed two players: Tommy Hughes and Nelson Iseguan.

CAREER SUMMARY

Tommy Hughes was born in October 2000, and joins the Yellows from Torquay Reserves Ipswich Town. The midfielder has made two substitute appearances in the Pizza Trophy, and one further cameo in the FA Cup. He also boasts two goals in three games in the FA Youth Cup. He moves to Torquay in search of his first real taste of senior football.

Nelson Iseguan was born in December 2002 (two thousand and TWO) (and is apparently not, like, seven years old) and is on the books at Exeter City. Having made a handful of appearances for the Grecians in the Premier League U23 cup, he joined Tiverton on loan this time last year. Again, the left sided player moves to Plainmoor hunting first team action, and Gary will be looking to cash in on the depressingly well-run academy system up the road.

MOST LIKELY/LEAST LIKELY TO

Tommy Hughes

Most Likely to

– Be a stop-gap in midfield. He’s described as “versatile” by an Ipswich Town reporter, and our midfield is described as “made of chocolate” by me, so I expect he’ll be asked to fill in all over the centre of the park (and perhaps in the wing-back roles if required).

– Get on with the innumerate ex-Ipswich academy players in our squad.

Least Likely to

– Depose the experienced campaigners in midfield when they’re fit.

– Be the last signing to be announced at 2pm on a Saturday.

Nelson Iseguan

Most Likely to

– Be called “The Admiral” by me, and me only.

– Play anywhere up and down the left-hand side.

Least Likely to

– Get home sick.

– Enjoy the anti-Exeter songs as he bombs along in front of the Popside. Oh well.

TALKING ISEGUAN AND HUGHES

GJ ON ISEGUAN – “He’s been developing at Exeter. In a conversation with them, his name came up, and it was agreed that the next part of his development was to get him involved with a first team squad, so we agreed. He’s a left-sided player, with great pace and good quality on the ball, and joins our first-team squad”.

GJ ON HUGHES – “He’s a striker, come attacking midfielder. He comes highly recommended, we like what we see, and he joins our squad immediately”.

CONCLUSION

I’m sorry that this hasn’t been the most illuminating article. Reports from Saturday are that Iseguan went off injured minutes after he came on, so, frankly, half of it might have been a total waste of time. I don’t think we should be pinning our hopes on these two lads, but at the same time we’ve had plenty of loanees who have blossomed into useful players for us as well as those who have faltered. In the immediate term, they’re stop-gaps as the new physio’s room fills to the brim. But in the medium term there’s no reason why Gary couldn’t mould them into a handy pair of squad players with a point to prove.