TT BLOG

Clive Hayward – @Byehorse

As we know, a sense of humour is always helpful if you’re a Torquay fan. I have no idea whether this is actually true, but it has been rumoured recently that Ed Palmer might be getting out of the barbering game and has acquired a new business: Toby’s Sheds. Inevitably, there has been speculation that he will give it a rebrand and that local gardeners will soon be browsing Ed’s Sheds.

This led a few of us to speculate on other potential businesses for the current squad. If you don’t like them, just blame me. If any of them make you laugh, you can thank Kirsty, Keith, Tibs, Jamie, Joe, Rich, Simon and Kevin for some great contributions.

We think the current squad is packed with entrepreneurs, particularly the defenders.

The most obvious one is probably James Hamon’s Gammons (he gets his pork from Jamie Reid’s Rare Breeds in Broadhempston).

All our Centre Backs are at it, following Ed’s lead. Jordan Dyer’s Tyres will keep you safe, and- perhaps slightly surprisingly- his partner has gone into the wedding cake business with Sam Dreyer’s Layers.

Recent signing Mr Acheampong will make a lot of money from Denzel’s Pencils.

I know that our young winger Dylan has spent a lot of time pondering his options as he has been coming back from his ankle injury. He has narrowed it down to offal butchery or running a music store: either way, it will definitely be called Morgan’s Organs.

My personal favourite comes from Rich Mills, who says we might soon be shopping at Sunny Blu’s Bargain Booze!

One of our 2009 Wembley heroes has loads of options if it doesn’t work out for him at Wimborne, one of which is becoming a Solicitor specialising in probate. Yep, that would be “Tim Sills’ Wills. Moving backwards in the sad process, our former ‘keeper offers a superior funeral service: “Straight to Heaven with Scotty Bevan.” The budget option is “Brad’s Ashes.”

Tim’s other options are pharmacy (Sills’ Pills) or perhaps taking over Charlie Baker’s favourite business and renaming it “Trago Sills”.

Home improvements are well covered, with Jo Kuffour’s Patio Doors and of course Ruari Keating’s Central Heating.

This leads us onto other people with an Irish connection, and we feel sure Frank O’Farrell’s Biscuit Barrels would do well. We weren’t so sure about Chima’s O’Curry. There is of course another fast-food option with Morike Sako’s Tacos, washed down with Leon’s Constant Wines.

If you think they’re bad, check these out:

Nelson Iseguan has set himself up as a football agent.

Kirsty advised us that there’s a new optician opening soon in Taunton called Ben’s Seymour.

There are vast sums to be made in online gambling, and Will’s Goodwin is a new competitor in a crowded field.

Finally, we understand that Will Hancox’s Adult Films is definitely a non-starter.