TT GROUNDHOPPING

Clive Hayward – @Byehorse

Clive looks back at his 24/25 away trips

2024/25 GROUNDHOPPING

NOVEMBER

November brought a bit of everything really. The first team went unbeaten all month. There weren’t many fireworks early on, with home draws against Chelmsford, Tonbridge and Maidstone. But Truro were beaten (as is normal) in the Trophy and we destroyed early pace-setters Weston despite having to play most of the game with 10 men.

There was a lot of fun to be had on the road too.

Mon 4 Nov Eastleigh (FA Youth Cup) L 2-5, Tue 5 Nov Salisbury W 1–0, Sat 23 Nov Boreham Wood D 0–0, Sun 24 Nov Bishops Lydeard Ladies W 5-0, Sat 30 Nov Enfield Town W 4–1

Eastleigh (FA Youth Cup): Another daft drive up the A35 and beyond. The young Gulls were gifted an early goal. In truth, the National Leaguers were slightly better than us but there was no disgrace in defeat for Kevin Wills’ team. The game was in the balance until the final 10 minutes when a combination of poor offside decisions and tiredness finally got the better of us. I sat & later stood with Simon Bittlestone and his son, who appears to be getting an early initiation into the ways of the Torquay cult. We left the ground dodging fireworks lobbed our way by some local yoof. The stewards caught one of them in the car park, to general merriment. It was a cold night which also saw Bovril make its seasonal debut.

Salisbury: Back on the road less than 24 hours later for a league match at the Ray Mac. It was a great night, which can be summarised as follows:

· Lengthy debate with Chris Wade and his Dad about when linos should flag for offside after the Chelmsford debacle (thanks for driving too, Pete)

· The Best Chicken You Will Ever Buy at Any Football Ground Anywhere (thanks Gringo Chicken!)

· A chat with Radio Devon’s Harry Salvidge

· Fog

· Boredom

· The Most Obvious Penalty For a Tug On Finn Craske You Will Ever See.

Cookie stuck it away with only a few minutes to go, and we left town with three points.

Boreham Wood: Time to let the train take the strain. The weather forecast for the oft-trodden path to Borehamwood and Elstree was horrific. The storm took some time getting its act together, but the severe gale and lashing rain ruined what was probably never going to be a great game of football anyway. A couple of hundred of us huddled in the stand whilst a handful of headcases braved the open away end. The highlight of the day was probably pre-match in the pub when Alan Wills and others explained why one geezer was dressed as a chicken. It was to do with Richard Hancox, it was very funny and I think I should possibly leave it for another day.

Bishops Lydeard Ladies: The village probably known chiefly as a great place to catch a steam train to Minehead also boasts a well-established women’s football team. The weather relented, they got the tea urn going and through some light showers we watched Lee Mann’s title-chasing Yellows win comfortably against the struggling West Somerset side, who were lacking their first choice goalkeeper.

Enfield Town: A really quirky ground, this. There are some big industrial estates in Enfield, and it felt as though Andy, Olly (his dog) and I traipsed through most of them before finding the lovely little oasis that is the Queen Elizabeth II Stadium. It’s a small athletics venue with some interesting history, and as you might expect at a fan-owned club we got a warm welcome. There were pints and chat upstairs in the Art Deco pavilion, and we never really budged from there. The pitch was a long way away but the sightlines were good. Despite a silly early shove by Jordan Dyer which gifted Enfield a penalty and the lead, we were way better than the newcomers and it was a comfortable 4-1 win. The Moose was unplayable, and had we known we wouldn’t win away again for 3 months we might have celebrated harder. Still, we now know we have to go back there next year, so perhaps we’ll do it then…

DECEMBER

A month notable for a lack of away games. Getting knocked out of the Cup in September can do that! There was no messing at Plainmoor though. We got on a good run, seeing off Horsham in the FA Trophy and getting clean-sheet wins against Farnborough (not title challengers, after all) and Hemel.

Thu 26 Dec Weymouth D 2–2

Weymouth: It was a happy Boxing Day return to The Bob Lucas, scene of many a United away win, and a chance to renew acquaintances with a club that had stood in solidarity with us as Administration was announced last February.

The drive up to Weymouth was pleasant. We got there early. The bar was open, and I sampled my first Guinness Zero. As the rest of the world already knows, it’s indistinguishable from the real thing. There was that great atmosphere you so often get at festive football, with Gulls from far and wide spending time with family and generally relishing the idea that we were having a decent season with hope firmly back on the menu.

Brandon Goodship’s Good Shift was, unfortunately, the key to two dropped points, with both goals seeming very preventable. Never mind, we were ending 2024 on a different planet from the one on which it had begun.

DONATE TO TT

The TT Site now has a donations page here

Any donations much appreciated!

JANUARY

January wasn’t great for the Gulls, to be honest. There was embarrassment at Worthing in the Trophy and the league form took a dip too, ending with an unexpected first home defeat against Hampton. But I imagine winning every week must get quite dull!

Sat 4 Jan Worthing (FA Trophy) L 1–5, Sat 18 Jan St Albans City D 1–1, Tue 21 Jan Slough Town D 2–2

Worthing (FA Trophy): It was a cracking day out. My great nephew’s introduction to the mighty yellows. At 4 months old he spent most of the game snuggled into his Mum’s chest looking away from the game. Sensible lad. Cody Cooke needed a rest, so we played the Moose up front. After Jordan Thomas managed to miss a good early chance it was one way traffic as our depleted defence (Dyer out with his first hammy of the season; Jay Foulston an equally big miss at left back) was ripped to shreds by the too-hot-to-handle Mo Faal. A Jordan Young Exocet was scant consolation as we bowed out of a competition which continues to divide opinions. I’m all for it myself, which is why I and many others were so fed-up on the long ride home. We passed the time by recording voicenotes and being cold in Salisbury. Keith and Kirsty got us home the right side of midnight after dodgy connections had put that in peril at one stage.

St Albans: As Ian Drury would have said: “What a waste.” I had a great meet-up with Chris Wade and his snooker mates, and we were joined by the likes of Matty, Dazzler and Doja. We sank plenty of blacks (pints of Guinness!) but despite St Albans being very much there for the taking we failed to get three points despite almost total domination after the first quarter of an hour. The afternoon was summed up by Cooke’s header, which bounced along the bar three times before dropping to safety.

Slough: Undeterred, I spent my midweek in a town which gets a dreadful press, but which I thought was absolutely fine. The bits I saw (that was quite a lot, because I managed to get lost between the hotel and the ground) were fine, with nice people and what seemed to be a good community spirit.

Although they had a decent home record, it felt like Slough(a) was the sort of place where you need to be winning if promotion is on your radar. We weren’t great, throwing Dean Moxey’s late lifeline back into the lake by conceding The Most Avoidable Goal of The Season in injury time. I stalked off into the night swearing quite loudly. It was 2 degrees and all I really wanted to do was go to bed. Instead, I spent an hour writing the match report for Torquay Talk. I hope I wasn’t too unkind.

The following day, I did some more sightseeing. For some reason I had always had a hankering to go to Hampton Court Palace. The buildings and the stunning gardens didn’t disappoint, and I finished my somewhat unorthodox mini-break in better spirits.