TALKING POINTS

Clive Hayward – @Byehorse

Clive discusses the game against Chesham

I heard recently about a technique for delivering bad news or constructive criticism. It’s called a good news sandwich. The general idea is to deliver the bad stuff in a package which starts and ends with positive feedback.

Here goes.

RETRO GULLS

This is a chance for older fans to get together and have a yarn about all things Torquay United. It’s normally held on the last Thursday of the month at Boots and Laces. I popped in after the Press Conference the week before last. I’m not going to be able to get away with saying I’m in my mid-fifties for much longer and I thought: “why not”. When I got there, things were in full swing. Ozzy Zanzala was just finishing off a Q and A. Even in March, he was impressed with what he’d seen so far of the English Riviera. He’d obviously been for a stroll (or maybe a jog) down by the Marina, because he said it had looked lovely down there “where all the boats are” and that with the sun shining he said it reminded him of being abroad!

I like Ozzy, and I hope he’s banging in the goals for us in the rain come November. Matt Jay was there too, and it was very clear that he had been made to feel welcome and had brought a lot of positivity to the afternoon. I blagged my way onto a quiz team featuring Jon Gibbes and John Lovis, two people who have forgotten more than I will ever know about our beloved club. Dave Thomas was in charge, and he had set some testing questions. We were equal to most of them, and managed to get a narrow win. One question that stumped everyone was:

“Where is the Headquarters of the English Lawn Bowls Association?”

We went for Eastbourne. It’s not. Answer at the end.

CHESHAM UNITED

Clearly most of us are still stinging a bit from Saturday’s result: an unexpected 2-1 defeat giving us only our second home defeat at a critical time in the run-in. Chesham took two half-chances and we got caught out in a game we started as hot favourites.

Nobody expects part-time teams to come to Plainmoor and have a game of basketball. Pragmatic formations and a safety-first mindset are only to be expected. But what the Buckinghamshire club brought to the party went way beyond that. Paul Wotton bit his tongue in the post-match interview when asked by Radio Devon’s Harry Salvidge about Chesham’s time-wasting (that was Harry’s term). Paul referred (as he sometimes does) to “dark arts”. Another euphemism is “game management”. But I don’t have to be so diplomatic, and I’m prepared to call it cheating. Everyone who was there could see what was happening right from the start of the game. Goalkeeper Ben Goode set the standard, delaying restarts at every opportunity and going down injured several times. Happily none of these episodes proved fatal, and resulted only in 3700 people losing any faith that the visitors were intending to play anywhere near the spirit of the game. Nearly every throw in was delayed. There were more supposed injuries than you would have seen on the Somme, and I can’t imagine that any water bottle lasted past about half an hour. What is the genuine likelihood of 2 opposition players sustaining injuries at the same time? You certainly wouldn’t expect to see that several times in the same game, but that’s exactly what we had to watch.

Chesham United’s joint managers are James Duncan and Michael Murray. Their bench reacted angrily to some fairly mild and wholly-justified criticism from Bristows. I respect them for sticking together, but approaching a game of football like that will win you no friends. Sadly we may have to do it all over again next season. My only hope is that we get a set of officials prepared to take effective action next time. Saturday’s referee Alexander Beckett regularly signalled that he could see what was going on, but he did nothing to stop it. Booking the keeper in the 7^th minute of added time was about as much use as a concrete parachute. Michael “Muz” Murray praised his players’ battling performance, and Alex Lafleur’s well-taken goals. Quite right. Unsurprisingly he didn’t mention the tactics which shamed him and his club.

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THE REGEN ARABLE SOUTH WEST REGIONAL WOMENS FOOTBALL LEAGUE

News filtered through on Saturday that the Torquay v Pucklechurch Sports Ladies game scheduled for Sunday afternoon had had to be postponed. The Gloucestershire club were unable to raise a team, citing problems with injuries, illness and childcare needs. Pucklechurch were 8^th in the 11 team South West Regional Womens Football League. Although Torquay won there in February, it was one of only 4 defeats this season. In January, another home game was postponed because our Forest Green opponents had declined to travel down the M5 in admittedly icy conditions. I’m told that under the league rules, Pucklechurch will be docked 3 points and fined £250 for their no-show, but Torquay get nothing. They will instead be required to play the game at the end of the season.

This has led many to question whether the league’s rules are appropriate. Clearly everyone playing at this level is an amateur, and football won’t be their only priority, but the integrity of a league competition does depend on clubs committing to fulfil their fixtures wherever possible. As an outsider with very little knowledge of the Women’s game, I’m conscious that my opinion can’t carry much weight. But it does seem that it’s a bit too easy to get a game called off. Somebody who knows a lot more about grassroots football administration is Phil Hancox, who is widely respected for the many years’ work he has put in with the South West Peninsula League, including as Fixture Secretary. This was his take on the situation on Twitter:

“Surely they should be deducted points, fined and the result awarded? Sends the wrong message to play it again. No male NLS league would reschedule a game for a team unable to raise a side.”

REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL

Cards on the table. I will be gutted if we have to spend a season longer in National League South than we have to. You can call it Football League Syndrome if you must, but Torquay United are a club with too much history, support and potential to be messing about down here. Nevertheless, the reality is that it might not happen this year. A lot would now have to go right for us to gain the single automatic promotion spot, and the play-offs are always very unpredictable. But wait a minute. We have only lost 7 league games out of 42. Put another way: only one in 6. We are also on a run of 4 consecutive away wins.

A squad that had to be assembled from scratch has been improved on as the season has progressed. A decent defensive base has seen the addition of creative players in Jordan Young, Matt Jay and the unlucky Dylan Morgan. Gates have risen sharply and remain high. Many supporters backed the club with an outstanding response to the Community Share Issue. The Directors are open, friendly, supportive and far more transparent with fans than any that I can remember in nearly half a century. That needs to continue. Lots of work has gone into strengthening the commercial and hospitality offerings, with the goal of making us a sustainable club which can better withstand the financial pressure which all ambitious clubs experience. I am not exactly a “floating voter”. Like most Torquay fans I’ve supported the club through thick, thin, thinner & thinnest, but I can honestly say I have seldom felt as proud of my club as I do at present. I will even forgive them that mash-up shirt. Some people have bought it, after all!