MATCH VERDICT

Matty Hayward
@MattyHayward96
YEOVIL TOWN 3-0 TORQUAY UNITED – NLS – 29/03/24
Before the season began, this game looked like a tasty morsal in the buffet of bland, regional football nothingness. A potential championship decider. Woking (a) mark two. Win there; win the league.
Today, though, it was clear that only one of these clubs was going to win the match and the title, while the other was hoping to limit the damage.
The tone of the first half hour was set before all bums were on seats: Jordan Young’s lunge on Lapslie punished with a first-minute booking, lighting a flame of feistiness that burned brightly, if briefly.
Though Yeovil saw most of the ball, and the Gulls were clearly set up to defend, shots on goal were shared fairly evenly between the sides. Bradley Ash could’ve scored twice. If the first – thanks to a ball over the top from United’s number four – was a half-chance, the second – created by some nifty wing-work and a cut-back from Will Jenkins-Davies – was positively full-fat. His finish was scuffed and gathered.
Between those two moments, the Glovers found the net. Jack Stobbs, who moments earlier had battled brilliantly on the wing, took one poor touch and wailed as his second was nicked away from him by Yeovil’s left back. The break ended with a long-range effort parried into the path of Jahmari Clarke, whose finish was as emphatic as it was straightforward.

The second goal was always going to be crucial, so it was far from ideal when Brett McGavin committed himself to a challenge on Frank Nouble that he got horribly wrong. Ever-reliable, Nouble continued his run, and put it on a plate for Young, who fired home with help from the crossbar.
As if he’d been inspired by his lanky midfield colleague, Dean Moxey took it upon himself to mis-judge a challenge of his own in a wide area. This, too, was capitalised upon, and Clarke finished well for his second on home debut.
Being clinical in front of goal was, ultimately, the difference between the two sides. We made three big mistakes and were punished, while never really looking like finding the net at the other end. The final thirty minutes were a non-event: Yeovil happy with 3-0, Torquay happy to limit the embarrassment.
PLAYER RATINGS
1. GK: Mark Halstead – 5
Not sure he can be blamed for the ten men in front of him being inadequate.
21. CB: Dean Moxey – 5
Poor for the third goal.
5. CB: Austin Booth – 4
A liability on the ball, I’m afraid. Lucky not to be punished for a couple of terrible errors. We all want Torquay fans to do well in the yellow and blue, but he looked every bit the PE teacher today.
8. CB: Asa Hall – 6
Looked quite comfortable gobbling up Yeovil’s first-half, hoofball offensive. He’s not Guy Branston, but he’s our least incompetent option at the heart of defence at the moment.
2. LWB: Arkell Jude-Boyd – 6
Full-hearted, as per.
14. MF: Brett McGavin – 5
Did naff all, apart from getting done by Noubs for the second.
30. MF: Ethon Archer – 6
POTM. See below.
27. RWB: Jack Stobbs – 5
Moments of spirit overshadowed by a piss-weak mistake, and an anonymous second half.
18. MF: Will Jenkins Davies – 6
Not bad! Busy. Him taking a selfie at the end with a young fan who sat in the away end in a Plymouth shirt? That don’t impress me much!
4. MF: Tom Lapslie – 6
Did his level best to do his one job (get someone sent off), but offered little else.
11. ST: Brad Ash – 5
It’s a fool’s game, really, playing up front on your own against a back three when you’re 5 foot 8. Despite the mis-match, he was entertainingly annoying in the face of Yeovil’s answer to Danny Seabourne. Unfortunately, though, today proved the importance of strikers taking chances, and he failed to do that.
Subs
23. CB: Ollie Tomlinson – 5
Didn’t do a lot wrong.
19. ST: Duane Ofori-Acheampong – 4
Came on for Lapslie, and made no impact.
10. MF: Lewis Collins – 4
The nicest thing I can say is that he absolutely aced the role of ‘being a human being to bring on so Stobbs could have a rest before Monday’. Other than that, it was another completely ineffectual cameo from Bala Town’s next marquee signing.
MAN OF THE MATCH – ETHON ARCHER
Before the match, I had a deeply enjoyable catch-up with a friend of mine: lifelong Yeovil fan and long-term Yellows apologist, Alex Winch. Over a well-staffed, if slightly flimsy, gate that separated the less than rabid home and away supporters, we agreed that the Glovers would win 3-0 and highlighted the deeply lame ‘Jolly Green Giant’ mascot, who was doing the rounds.
After the game, without prompt, Alex proclaimed that Ethon Archer was the best of our bad bunch today. On this, we also agree. The young midfielder is a tireless runner and showed flashes of quality on the ball. One effort, cutting inside from the left, was well-saved, and he won his fair share of battles with stronger and more experienced opponents. He’s no world-beater, OBVS, but he combines brilliant attitude with a smattering of ability, and that’s good enough to be our best at the moment.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
As I boarded the coach in the Huish Car Park, after a 3-0 defeat, the word ‘honour’ wasn’t exactly the first that came to mind. I’ll give an HM to the weather, which was wet enough to justify my decision to sit in the seats, but nowhere near wet enough to ruin anyone’s day.
TACTICS
Whether it was 4-5-1 or 5-4-1 is a matter of perception, but there can be no doubt that the important instruction from Aaron Downes’ tactical hive was to get those nine behind the ball at all times. It worked for a while, until it didn’t.

OPPOSITION
Yeovil will finish top without having had to do much. Even their most optimistic of fans must have expected more of a title-race than this. They aren’t amazing – you don’t need to be at this level – but their ruthlessness in front of goal has proved plenty for us in our two league meetings this season.
THE OFFICIALS
I mean, they had an absolute mare. Booking Young from the kick off was right, but the referee saw that as ample justification to dust off his yellow card every time a foul was committed. A litany of errors was almost certainly a result of incompetence rather than corruption, but that didn’t stop accusations from the side-lines that the referee was wearing green pants or that his skin-faded assistant had a YTFC calendar in the office of his real job. Â
CONCLUSION
The whole game today really looked like one team who were pissing the league and one who were miles off the pace. We weren’t without fight, but we were nowhere near as good as Yeovil.
As embarrassing as this is to type, our survival in the sixth tier won’t be defined by results against Yeovil. Each of the final six games is more important and more winnable than today’s, and I don’t think is boundlessly optimistic to expect us to win a couple of them. I bloody hope not, anyway.
COYY – MATTY


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