GROUNDHOPPING

Clive Hayward

@Byehorse

Clive discusses a trip to see Hilly’s team

EXMOUTH TOWN V YATE TOWN

When Torquay’s fixtures came out in the summer a trip to Worthing in January probably seemed like a bit of fun: another staging post on our intended romp to automatic promotion. Having now seen us wave white flags at Hemel, Hampton and Dartford- to name but three- and already being in reluctant possession of tickets for future debacles at Taunton and Truro, discretion was the better part of valour on Saturday and I opted instead for an afternoon by the Exe.

As most will know, it’s a lovely little train ride from the Bay: down the Teign, along the sea wall, under five tunnels, past the deer at Powderham and through Exeter before following the Avocet Line south to its terminus. A really easy journey. The timetable offered ample opportunities to stroll to the ground in time for a pint.

I do enjoy my ambles and occasional rambles, but this almost turned into a shambles!

It was a lovely afternoon. Temperature nudging double digits, no chance of rain and even occasional hints of sunshine, albeit as weak as a Torquay hamstring at this time of year. Somewhere around Dawlish I changed my plan. I decided to get off at Lympstone and wander down the river from there. A walk as flat as a long-abandoned lager and a couple of miles’ gentle exercise. I have walked it before and it fell firmly into the “nothing can go wrong” category.

Now don’t get me wrong, Devon County Council is an organisation with many fine qualities. It has clearly invested considerable time and money in developing “The Exe Trail” to the extent that you can ride your bike or stretch your legs most of the way from Dawlish Warren to Exmouth without having to dodge cars or get your feet wet. But they’ve got some issues down Lympstone way. The bit I was hoping to walk down is largely closed at present. It turns out that if you stick a load of wood deep into estuary mud and leave it there for 15 years it has a tendency to rot. Who knew? Well, not the Council it seems. Sure enough, the decking has become unsafe and they are now in the process of replacing it all with something more durable. When it reopens we will be walking on glass reinforced polymer (“GRP”). A major component of GRP is apparently recycled plastic bottles and there will be about half a million in the new stretch. Sadly the Wooden Rails Replacement Service is still ongoing and all of a sudden the Lympstone to Exmouth walk is three miles rather than two. I wasn’t too downhearted by the diversion: I still reached the ground with time for a pasty and was even able to give directions to a couple of baffled walkers coming the other way.

Exmouth are struggling this year, in a league slightly higher than they have often played in. If the Southern League (South) Division One rings any bells, it may be because Torquay have played two of the current top three this season. Wimborne and Frome were hospitable enough to let us beat them in our doomed cup campaigns. Before Saturday, Exmouth had only gathered 13 points from 20 games and were sitting right at the bottom of the table.

Opponents Yate Town, from Bristol, are a club with a slightly more illustrious history. They are very much mid-table at the moment having been relegated last season. Some poor early season results this time around saw them part company with manager John Rendell in September. He has been replaced by an ex-Torquay player in Darren Mullings and he’s made a decent start, lifting them to safety and a run of three wins leading up to their trip to the seaside.

Imagine that. A manager pays the price for poor results and his replacement does better. I wonder if we could try it?

Hand on heart, I didn’t remember Mullings’ time at Plainmoor but my esteemed TorquayTalk colleagues Steve Harris and Chris Wade have patiently explained that he was the lad who got unluckily sent off on his debut in our 5-4 win at Histon (remember them?). He had some stiff competition to get into Paul Buckle’s team and it never really happened for him, but he had a long career playing at decent non-league levels in England’s bottom left hand corner and he’s clearly enjoying his first managerial gig. His assistant is Paul “Tovs” Tovey, who obviously loves every minute of touchline life. He was genuinely funny when engaging in banter with some Exmouth “wags”. I use the word in the 1970’s “humorous football fan” sense rather than the new millennium description of Christine Lampard or Rebekah Vardy.

Although funnily enough I did get to stand next to a WAG in the first half.

Sometimes you can pick up a lot by a little bit of eavesdropping and a quick Google on the train home. I was standing in front of the clubhouse and my neighbours were footballing folk with an interesting story to tell. There was a chap who looked to be well into his forties who fairly described himself as “an older parent” with two very lively sons aged about 10 and 6. I might not have got all the family relationships correct, but standing with them was a diminutive mousy haired young lady who was the girlfriend of one of the Yate players. I think the gentleman was either his dad or step-father, and he invited the couple to have supper at his home after the game. He asked her how her journey down had been, and she said “It was ok and not as long as last week.”

It turned out that Yate had been at Mousehole last week, but that she had also had business in the far South West, playing a game herself in Plymouth. She is sometimes-starter/ sometimes-sub for Bristol Rovers Ladies first team, and her port of call last week had been “Marine Academy Plymouth Ladies”. The Gas Girls (as they are known) had won that top of the table clash 4-0 and you’ll be pleased to hear they continued their storming season this Sunday with a 4-1 victory over Bishops Lydeard!

But who was the boyfriend, I hear you ask? Wonder no more. He was Yate’s number 7, a lad by the name of Fin. He started brightly in midfield, possibly tired slightly and was subbed 10 minutes from the end. Do I know anything else about him? Actually yes. He is none other than Finley Bell, aged 19, on loan at Yate from parent club Forest Green Rovers, for whom he came on as sub towards the end of their famous 3-0 EFL Trophy win against West Brom Embryos as long ago as October 2020.

There did look to be quite a gulf in class between Exmouth and Yate. There were furious early home penalty claims for a handball on the goal line, but the visitors kept the ball well and in truth soon had the blues chasing shadows. With half an hour gone, Yate had the game won. Two quick goals on 27’ and 30’ from skipper Joe Guest and bustling striker Nick McCootie meant it was going to be a long afternoon for outclassed opponents.

Guest and McCootie are both refugees from the financial meltdown at Taunton and although McCootie is one of those strikers who will be unkindly described as a Pound Shop Akinfenwa he looks likely to do a good job for Yate and they are clearly fishing in a different river to Exmouth when it comes to player recruitment. He hit the post before the interval and Yate went on to rattle the crossbar after the change of ends. That was a thumping free kick by feisty right winger Calum English-Brown, a lad with a shock of red hair who was my man of the match. He was further frustrated later when he lashed in a half volley from range a split- second after the referee blew for a head injury to a colleague.

The second half was as one-sided as the first, and I watched it from behind the dugouts in the East of the Exe Stand, a structure which boasts three high concrete steps and a wooden back which sways gently when the wind blows. I pray that Clarke Osborne never gets his hands on the blueprint!

It did afford an opportunity to observe the other ex-Torquay manager on display, the man for whom we all retain such enormous affection, the one and only Kevin Hill.

Hilly doesn’t change. I don’t know if he is under pressure at the moment but if he is you would never know. He gave every impression of really enjoying his afternoon despite his charges being very second-best. He’s still doing that peculiar thing which normally came just before an enormous leap and a deadly header. Hands in pockets now, but in exactly the same position as they were when he was playing, Leaning forwards, crouching almost, bending slightly at the knees but much more from the waist, preparatory to a spring of which a frightened antelope would be very proud. He encouraged his players and kept a smile on his face. I love him very much.

He shuffled the pack as best he could, with near-legendary front man Ace High getting 25 minutes. I fear he may now be a busted flush, and Yate narrowly avoided getting three of a kind. The attendance of around 300 wasn’t quite a Full House but you will be thrilled to know I have exhausted all my poker puns now.

What should have been a 5 or 6 goal hammering finished 2-1 thanks to a last-kick-of-the-game Exmouth goal by other substitute Levi Landricombe. I headed for the station having thoroughly enjoyed my afternoon and thanking my lucky stars I was in East Devon rather than West Sussex.